From Siobhan

Dear You,

I know you are struggling right now. I know times are hard. Life throws unexpected spins and turns at you.

You may find it hard to get out of bed, look after yourself. The loneliness can get a hold of you and grab and twist you in so many ways. Everything feels gloomy, dark.

I was diagnosed with various of illnesses including, psychosis, anxiety and depression. It truly felt like my world was coming to an end. I felt like I couldn’t go on.

I struggled with my appearance but I was dedicated and determined to get better. It was only until I got support that the small things got better. I was dressing myself, going for walks. Most of all, beginning to use self care techniques.

I still get down days, really horrible times too, sometimes thoughts of suicide. I know there is hope though. I have succumb to the fact that I will have bad days, and very happy days too.

I know the loneliness can get the better of you, the anguish and pain you feel. I really do. Try to reach out to a family member. Or a friend. 

One of my favourite books is Ruby Wax - Sane New World, she has an amazing sense of humour but is very honest. I am currently reading various of books. I also like art, photography and writing my thoughts/feelings. Which may be an idea for you, writing things down surpasses the pain for a short while. Taking a photograph of a lovely sky, then you can use this for later to paint from…in so many different styles!

I have had things happen to me in my past which I still think about now. They make me feel lonely, isolated and sleep deprived.

Remember there is so much to see, say and feel..we sometimes forget about the simple things. For example, going for a walk (if you can) or waking up and saying ‘I believe I can do this’…it doesn’t happen all the time and there will be down days. That’s just life.

However you are so strong, you have so many talents.

So many people who love you.

You have a voice.

You really can get through this.

You may not see this right now and that’s okay. The thoughts and feelings can be intrusive, real and painful to you. But they are worthy of someone a friend, therapist to listen to.

I have had CBT, this had some good points. We did worksheets and spoke for about one day a week. Medication is important. We sometimes get busy. Teams are stretched and help isn’t always immediate but keep going.

The birds are still cheeping. The spring brings me joy.

Just be present, be content and remember to look after yourself.

Have a massive hug from me,

With hope and love,

Your dear friend,

Siobhan