In the dark treacle of this illness it may seem impossible that you will ever be well. You may want to end your life, or hurt yourself or just stop feeling the unbearable pain of whatever has caused this. It seems impossible that you will ever feel normal again, to feel like you did, to laugh or not think about the pain.
The loneliness of this illness is impossibly cruel, it may feel that no one understands how awful it is. Whereas no other person can completely follow the feelings and emotions you have there are many others who have felt this dark and have come out again and live full lives. It is possible. With patience, care, rest and love you will get better, your body is telling you to stop, to climb off the horse and sit in the stable a while.
Get help, push for help, you are important even if you don't feel it, remember people care and want you around, people love you and want you to live. Hope is the one thing that is in short supply with depression and it is the one thing that we need when unwell. I hope you continue to live, I hope you recover.