I used to think that no one cared, that one wanted me around, that I was a failure.
These are the thoughts that plagued my mind every day. These are the lies of mental illness.
Consumed with pain and hopelessness I only reached out for professional help as a last resort and because the suicidal thoughts were overwhelming. That first step, which is so scary but so critical for recovery, provided the first ray of light that penetrated the darkness. Slowly but surely, my mind began to change for the better. I started realising that the thoughts that plague me are in fact lies. Once I realised this, their power over me diminished.
For years, I fought to hide my unhappiness and unhealthy mental state, all because of shame, fear and the feeling that I didn’t deserve help. I tried everything from eating right to meditation, but it was a lonely journey. These things helped somewhat, but the crucial step was to seek professional help and to confide in others. The people around me may have known something was wrong, but I pushed them away and all this time they were only too happy to help. I never thought I would feel at ease with myself and with others and know that I’m enough, so for this reason, I know that you can recover too.
I wish you all the best in your recovery.