From Paul (3)
Right now you may feel so alone, no matter how many people are around you. Depression was, for me, like treading water in a vast black ocean. I saw nothing to hold on to. I feared that at any moment I would go under and that scared me so much. That was until someone pointed out, I still had my head above water. There was still something deep inside that would not let me drown. It was the smallest of things, but it was there. I could not deny it.
Being a survivor of suicide I came to realise that things do change, and for the better. At the time I believed that I had nothing to live for. The voice in my head was so loud, but it was so wrong. I learned to drown it out with audio-books and endless Radio 4. It gave me the time to get strong enough to challenge it. I am no longer that person who ended up in hospital. I can't begin to tell you how much life has changed for me and how happy I am to be here to witness it.
Depression can rob you of your joy, but I promise you this... You will smile again. You will laugh again. You will find those things that make life worth living. Depression has a knack of putting on the blinkers so that you can only see through the smallest of lenses. It magnifies the negatives and blinds you to the positives.
The blinkers wont come off tomorrow... But in time you will see the world through new eyes. The very reason you are reading this is because something deep within you still wants to stay here with us. I certainly hope you do.
There is hope. I know because I can laugh again... And no-one can miss my laugh.
Take care of yourself.
I wish you all the love in the world.