From Orla

Dear You,

If you are reading this you may be looking for a sign, you may be looking for an indication that you are normal or you may just be looking for some inspiration; well here it is, you've found it!

My story started at the untimely death of my mother and me being able to deal with the grief. I pushed it away, time and time again, I ran from it, I hid from it and I self-destructed so I had other problems to deal with and not face the music that she was gone. 

But grief catches up with you. It finds you so you can no longer hide. 

I thought everything was wrong in my life, I had anxiety and depression, I had panic attacks over my life and my life choices, I hated who I was. I couldn't feel anything not even love for me supportive partner and worse I thought it was all my fault. Until I met a counsellor who said 'You have been through a lot' and 'you are a good person'. The following day it just clicked. I never knew what people meant when they said 'it just clicks' but when it does you will know!

Grief is a funny one. it hits you when you're least expecting it and it will never fully go away but I guess I wouldn't want all of it to go away either, she was a huge part of my life! 

Moving on does not mean you forget.

It's a big wave to ride but remember the saying 'this too shall pass'. 

Keep going, take your time and keep the head high. 

Orla x