We have something in common: I have been where you are now.
I am now happy, positive and enjoying every moment and every day of my life. I’ve been happy like this for years, with never a thought of suicide, never a depressed thought, and you could be as I am
now. I promise this is possible.
You are at the worst point, the lowest point in that journey. I was at that point too, when I thought of suicide as peace, as a blessed escape.
Believe that one day you can become happy. Tell yourself over and over again “if it’s possible for other people, it’s possible for me”.
And try every tip people give you for becoming happy, to see what works for you.
People like me, like you, have battled out of depression and become happy, so the path you’re following is more well-trodden than you might imagine.
Whatever advice you’re given, try it! Persist. If someone says “Try dancing”, don’t go dancing once, try it a few times. If someone says "going for a sauna & steam is great", don’t go for one steam & sauna, go twice a week for a month.
You might try dozens and dozens of techniques, dozens of mind games, dozens of verbal sayings. I found out itwasn’t just one thing that I did. There were many, many things I tried, in a cumulative way, persistently for months. Some things worked, some didn’t, so I kept doing the things that seemed to work. I made tiny steps of progress, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, out of the
darkness into the light.
It’s achingly hard to try these things when you’re depressed, but persistence makes it a forced habit, then it becomes a regular habit, then it becomes something that you don’t even think about, it’s just something you do.
Good luck. You can be happy.