Today is very dark for you; a bottomless hole, an exhausting moment to endure only for the next to start. Your journey is so difficult and you are the only person who can make it. Inside everything is screaming that you can't deal with this any more. It is a beastly place, unique to you and the idea it will ever be different can be so remote.
How do I know? I've been in my own hole, with my own personal agony. It's been a hard journey, but life has pleasures and excitement again - all shades of dark and light.
It's a route you can take - if you are reading this you are already taking it. You are already working towards feeling better. Each moment will come and you can take hold of maybe one moment today and possibly two moments tomorrow. I believe in you and in 5 years you will look back at this time and wonder when you 'got well'. Your downward spiral changed to an upward spiral starting in nothing very much and pulling you in to wholeness.
You are worth that journey.